Archive for the 'Life' Category


sexuality you can really put your hands on

“A naked woman kneeling, wearing a toilet roll attached by hosiery to her groin area. On her face is a mask with egg carton eyes.”

These are the images in a Tactile Mind –a pornographic book for the blind by Lisa Murphy.  The book has raised tactile images of people in sexual poses with the description written in braille along side of it.

The Toronto based artist is a photographer with a certificate in Tactile Graphics from the CNIB.  She says that when she looked around, she found that the blind were overlooked in the world filled with sexual images.  Although Playboy had attempted to take hold of this market a few years ago, the books only had braille descriptions–no images.

But Murphy’s project is far from the $10 copies of smut you will find at your local Max convenience.

Tactile Minds consists of 17 3-D images.  These pictures depict live models photographed by Murphy.  She transformed these photos into page after page of sculpted art, laid out on thermoform plastic.  Each book is self-published and hand-made.

“There’s so much work that’s gone into it, from the models to the Braille…($255 CAD is) not an unreasonable price,” she points out to QMI Agency.

Murphy has lugged this large book around from sex show to sex show for years now, “It was a labour of love and I never expected to make any money from it.”

But with the recent jolt of publicity–the orders have been pouring in.

This isn’t the end for the Toronto artist–she has plans to take things one step further, saying that here next project will “ be much more erotic…with couples.”


a hockey coach gets his way

“The coach is so respected. Your parents send you away and say, ‘Do what he says.’ At that age, you listen. That’s your first step if you want to play pro.”

Sheldon Kennedy is a former NHL hockey player. In 1996 Kennedy stepped forward with complaints of sexual abuse by his former junior level hockey coach Graham James.

His public declaration was part of a bitter and humbling journey that never seems to go away.

Kennedy told the Los Angeles Times that he “was 14 or 15 and James was 31 or 32 when the assaults began. Every Tuesday and Thursday for six years…He considered me his wife. There was absolutely nowhere for me to turn. I had no one, nobody.'”

But there were at least two others.

In 1997 James pleaded guilty to two charges of sexual assault.  The cases involved 100’s of incidents against two of his former players over the span of 10 years.  He was sentenced to three and a half years in prison, and the Canadian Hockey League banned him from ever coaching in Canada again.

It wasn’t until 2009 when retired hockey star Theoren Fleury confirmed allegations of abuse by James in his autobiography Playing with Fire.

Fleury writes, “The direct result of my being abused was that I became a f—ing raging, alcoholic lunatic…(James) destroyed my belief system.  The most influential adult in my life at the time was telling me that what I thought was wrong was right.”

Fleury says that he too was required to sleep over at James’ house twice a week.  But it was for more than sleep.  He says James tried to masturbate him or give him oral sex.  Fleury tried to resist but he was weakened by exhaustion and the constant threats of a ruined career.

Pegged as “James’ favourites”, Fleury recounts occasions where Kennedy and himself had to be witness to each other’s abuse.

In 1984 James coaxed them into a road trip to Disneyland where he abused Kennedy in the front seat while Fleury slept in the back.

But that wasn’t all—they stayed in motels during the trip and Kennedy and Fleury would take turns sleeping with James.

“Think about how sick that was.” Fleury writes.

Recent news that in 2007, James received a pardon from the National Parole Board has sparked up controversy.  Kennedy thinks that in light of all the attention, more victims will come forward to object.


the 411 on DWW

“I started the band Down With Webster 12 years ago, and I’m still at it. You can do anything you put your mind to…as long as you don’t suck.”

-Tyler Armes, bass/keys for Down With Webster.

Down With Webster is a Toronto-based progressive/hip-hop/pop band.  The band consists of seven “musical friends” that came together in grade eight for a school assignment.  Even though they’re not all a part of the original seven, they have all been friends since middle school.

Since then, they have experienced many successes.  Superstar record producer Timbaland was quoted saying that DWW was “the illest group I’ve ever seen live in person, and you know I’m hard to please.  That group is the most amazing and creative, innovative group that’s going to come out in 2010.”

They attribute their gradual growth to determination.  “We’re relentless.”

So who makes up this unique group?

Bucky on vocals is usually the sweatiest of the bunch.  He radiates heart-pounding energy to the audience to make them jump up and rap along.

Cam’s laid-back rapping style confidently allows the spotlight to stray from him.

Marty will typically be found in boxer briefs, sneakers and knee-high socks, banging the drums and rockin’ a fro.

Kap is the little man with big hype.  Toting a backpack and megaphone, he pushes the excitement level of the crowd to the maximum.

Pat works the guitar and vocals.  Known lovingly as Riff-Raff, his messy hair, plaid shirts and smooth singing voice make him a deserving front man.

Tyler’s calm nature lets him multi-task on-stage.  He handles the bass and keys with brooding poise.

Diggy holds down the fort.  While the rest of the band dazzles the crowd with bustling vigor, Diggy deejays in the background.

With seven eclectic guys in a band, you’d think that it would be chaotic.  But the fact they have known each other for such a long time makes them capable of seeing everyone’s strengths and weaknesses.   Plus, they have one rule: No ego!


“Exercise your right to be informed”

Caroline Myers flicks her hand “Yeah I’ve been cheated on—by every single long-term boyfriend I have ever had.”

Caroline is a 31-year-old nursing student.  She has been single for five years now.

“You always want to find out and if I had to find out on a T.V. show, I’d do it.”

It’s exactly this vulnerability that reality television shows like Cheaters prey on for ratings.

“Exercise your right to be informed” is the motto of Cheaters.  This is a show that invites people who think their spouse is being unfaithful, to have private investigators follow them around to see if their suspicions are true.

The catch—you have to find out along with the rest of America.

Each half-hour episode begins with the “victimized” spouse explaining their suspicions.  Usually it’s that they aren’t around that much anymore, they make excuses for missing dates, or they are no longer sexually interested.

Then, the private investigators of the show do a full on sting.   They follow the suspected cheater to work, they tap their phone calls, and they will wait outside of a house or restaurant for hours to catch a glimpse of him/her in the act.

When they have all the proof they need, they get the spouse that originally contacted them and get them on location.  They hide out in the producer’s car where they disclose all the information that they have gathered.

Then the moment that the cheater surfaces from the house or the restaurant where they have been canoodling with another—attack.

They quickly intercept the cheating spouse with cameras and lights and of course—the crying victim.

The show clearly defines the characters:  A heroic television show that liberates the victim by bringing the cheater to justice.

But in real life, things often aren’t so black and white.

After years of figuring out why she keeps getting abandoned, Caroline believes that it’s “Because they ain’t getting what they need at home…we want different things, and resentment builds.  Guys need appreciation and trust.  Women need validation and intimacy.”


Why wash panties when you can sell them dirty?

Chloe describes herself as “a cute, all american girl with a kinky side.”

Chloe is the proud proprietor of, a website that sells her dirty panties.

That’s right.

Those sweaty knickers that you peel off your body at the end the day can earn you up to $200 a pair.

Most of the demand is from men seeking soiled women’ underpants. And ladies are taking advantage of the easy money by posting and selling their previously worn undies online.

“Two-hundred bucks for underwear? I wasn’t up for posing in my panties, but I could totally do that! Unlike sex for money, selling used underwear didn’t feel inherently sleazy or immoral.”  Says a journalist student that gave the money-making idea a try.  The internet is a popular way to get the items on the market and gives most girls a sense of anonymity. But, before they buy, most men request to see a picture of the seller first.  “When I said no pictures of my face and no pictures of me in the panties, the responses dried up.”

The major classified or auctions sites have  filters that will delete profiles that advertise any sexually explicit content.  So suppliers use code words on the high-traffic sites to avoid having their products removed. Once they know someone is interested, they refer the customer back to their personal blog or website. This is where the girls are free to post pictures of themselves modeling the merchandise.

On, Chloe  posts pictures of herself in a variety of different panties and urges visitors to vote on the types they prefer.  Visitors like Mike express their gratitude by posting comments under their favourites”…that 2nd shot with your back arched like that, mmm hmmm mmm. So wonderful of you to share!”

Chloe is just one of the many girls that sell their skivvies for cash.  Girls will use different gimmicks to set themselves apart from the competition.  One proprietor will show you the receipt for a new set of panties, then send you photos of her wearing them.  Another girl advertises that she will wear the same pair of underthings for three days, then send them to you in a zip lock bag.

Although this may seem like a shocking new idea, it isn’t. At least not in Japan where they have been selling school-girls’ panties in vending machines and porno stores since the early nineties. And, the more heavily soiled they are, the more they are worth.

Tag lines vary from site to site, but most of them all say the same thing “we wear your request and then send them to you dirty and smelling of our intimate parts.”


The worth of youth and beauty

Claudia sits down at the computer to find that she has just received 17 new emails—all from affluent, established men offering her thousands of dollars to date her; some, just once a month.

Claudia is a 26-year-old make-up artist who has joined a dating website called that connects older, successful men with young, beautiful women.  Among the usual profile information listed for the men:  age, height and photo—income also shows up as a category requirement.

A self-described “Sugar Daddy” claims that these websites help him screen potential dates.  He explains that there are basically four categories: The Professionals—who are essentially prostitutes and they go from one man to the next demanding allowances before the first date, The Cougars–who think they should still be considered arm candy, The Established—who are in search of a man who is as successful as them and are ready to marry, then  the class of women that have been in relationships before with men of their own financial status that didn’t work out, and are now ready to try something new.

The offers that some of these young ladies receive vary.  Some are sexual requests.  “Oh yeah, these guys have offered me $5000, $6000 just for one time.” And some are fetish driven “This one guy, he just wanted to be like, my little bitch.  He actually said that he just wanted to be my pet.”

Jay is a real estate investor from New York who has contacted Claudia says that he is not about prostitution and that sex has nothing to do with it.  He even says that the women are welcome to bring their own boyfriends over to stay at his New York residence.  “I’m not gonna tell you what to do, that’s not what I’m about.  What I want is to be a host to your pleasure.”  He says that this is because of his fetish to be submissive and that what he is looking for is someone to be his muse, his requirements: “I’m into looks and height.”

Although Claudia is out to find her a man that is willing to spend thousands of dollars on her, she doesn’t see is as prostitution.  “There is a very fine line, I’m willing to walk it, dance around it, jump right on it, but I’m not willing to cross it.”

She says that the main difference between what she is looking for and actually selling her body for money is the agreement.  “This is mutually beneficial, it’s not a job, and there is not contract.  I am looking for a relationship with a man that will take me out, wine and dine me, and if he decides after a while to, you know, help me out financially, well I just see that as him taking care of his woman.”

That’s the reason why she has chosen to date a man who has not made her any financial propositions, however is the president of a flourishing Canadian company, and so has potential to support her.  “He needs to have a minimum of a six figure income” and with a little chuckle she adds, “mid-six figure is better.”  Among that prerequisite, she counts on her well manicured fingers “needs to be attractive, I’m not willing to date an ugly old man.  He needs to put me first, like if I call his office, I get put through right away—I’m a priority, and after three or four dates, I am expecting a Chanel purse.”

Even though this sounds like a pretty good set up, it’s not always a fairy tale.  Constable Daniel Wacker of the Toronto Police Force says that women should be weary of these sites.  With an inhale, he continues to say “I can’t say all—but most of these men that join these sites are also the type of men that pay a great deal of money, to travel to foreign countries, where it is legal to pay to have sex with children.”

He warns that this may be a less costly, more convenient alternative for the men here in Canada, and because these are sites where adults join of their own free will, it is difficult to monitor the type of information that is being exchanged and thus, difficult to wean out the potentially dangerous.

Claudia does put her safety first, but is not concerned with her present situation, she says that her dates have been fun and casual and her “Sugar Daddy” has been a perfect gentleman.  In December he will be going on a tropical vacation and Claudia would like to have him pay for her to go along.  When asked about her chances, with a flick of her hair and a smile she replies, “It’s in the bag.”


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January 2020
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