How To Stop Getting Down On Yourself For Not Booking

We’ve all been there. Audition after audition, but no bookings. Maybe you’re even getting pinned/put on hold multiple times, but nothing seems to work out. You start to think “maybe I’m just not good enough” or “I’m never gonna’ make it in this industry, what was I thinking?

I’m not gonna lie, this thought goes through my mind, more often than I like to admit. It’s comes and goes, because it depends on what else is going on in my life. If I’m busy trying to keep up with an insane amount of auditions, then it’s much easier to let it go. But if it’s been a slow week/month and I’m counting on this ONE job to pay for my rent (or to validate my choice in career)? Well, then I’m gonna be checking my email every two minutes to see if I’ve booked it.

And that’s just a crappy place to be. You’re anxious and distracted. You may even find yourself scouring your social media to see who in your network did book the job. Then you’re gonna compare every little aspect of you vs that person. Inevitably thinking, she’s just a better version of me.

But the truth is–that’s just not it. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, there are soooo many reasons why you don’t book a job, and 99% of them have NOTHING to do with you. As long as you’re being called in to audition consistently, means you’re doing something right.

The reason why we get so down on ourselves, is because we attach meaning to the event. Something happens (an event) + we attach meaning to it (meaning) = how we feel (outcome).

Think of it this way:

Audition happens (Event) + If I book this job, it means I’m a good actor (Meaning) = “Yay–I booked it, I’m a great actor!” or “This sucks–another audition I didn’t book, I’m never gonna’ make it as an actor.” (Outcome).

When you approach your auditions with this type of mindset, you’re giving your control over. You’re saying “I NEED this job to validate me as an actor.” And whether you see it or not, casting will. They’ll see this overwhelming need to please and a lack of confidence mixed with desperation and think–“just doesn’t seem right.”

You must acknowledge that getting the audition is already winning, and that booking the job is the bonus. Let that sink in.

Your job as an actor is to present your unique self consistently. To showcase your talent to as many casting directors/producers/directors out there, so that they have a solution to their problem. So that they can find the right piece to complete their puzzle. Not every job is yours, just like not every job is Meryl Streep’s, or Denzel Washington’s. Bringing a production together is like gathering all these loose parts to complete the picture on the box–The vision of the production team.

So what helps me stop getting down on myself for not booking? I tell myself that what was meant for me will not pass me by. Like an empty space in a puzzle, you can try to cram some other piece in there, but to get the perfect picture, you need the right fit And I’m just gonna’ keep bringing my best self forward until I’m the perfect fit for a project.

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